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Joke of the Day

"Me: It's been 3 years, but I'm finally making progress on my book. Friend: You're writing a book? Me: No. I meant the book I'm reading."

"Dark Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, ""It's dark in here isn't it?"" The other replied, ""I don't know; I can't see."""

"Divorce & Circumcision Q: What's the difference between a divorce and a circumcision? A: In a divorce, you get rid of the whole schmuck."

"What do you call a Christian who fell down the stairs? A couple of steps closer to their final destination."

"I have a new word for vibrator ... selfie stick"

"TIL Kurt Cobain didn't have a license. He preferred riding shotgun"

"Very Funny My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face."

"What do you get if you cross a joke with a rhetorical question? ..."

"How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, except she scissors it in."

"*cute bartender gives me back my credit card* ""No it's cool, you keep it"""