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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend called me a pedophile... That's a big word for a 4 year old."

"If you want my opinion ask my wife"

"[Pickup Line] Are you a phillips or flathead? OP: Uh, I don't know, why? YOU: I'm just trying to figure out how to screw you."

"Why did the Elton John wax dummy get down voted? Because it was fake and gay."

"The richest man in the world will be the one who creates a pair of sunglasses that automatically plays a guitar solo when slightly lowered."

"A boat carrying red paint, and a boat carrying blue paint, both crash into each other. The crew are now marooned."

"A priest, rapist, and pedophile walk into a bar He orders a drink."

"Everyone wants to see fifty shades of grey Being colorblind fucking sucks!"

"The presidency should be EASY for Trump... after all, mini hands make light work."

"What happens if you draw on the blackboard and the teacher told you not to? She draws a smack!"