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Joke of the Day

"What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust"

"""WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING. YOU SUCK."" I yell at the football player in the TV as I'm sitting on a couch having cake"

"Accidentally pooped my pants in the elevator. I'm taking this shit to a whole new level."

"What's the difference between Sebastian Vettel and a jew? The facial expression when you hit the gas."

"Everyone keeps guessing who Rey's parents are, but who delivered her as a baby? OB-Gyn Kenobi"

"We take it for granted today, but a single Dorito has more extreme nacho flavor than a peasant in the 1400s would get in his whole lifetime."

"Pinot? I hardly noir."

"*thumb wrapped in giant bandage* CW: Oh my God, what happened? Me: Never challenge a hitchhiker to a thumb war."

"A lady told me that Autism is punishment for the sins of the parent. That is the story of me punching a lady in a church parking lot."

"Why does the North Korean military always lose their battles? [xpost /r/meanjokes] Every single shot at them is at a chink in their armor."