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Joke of the Day

"I'm vegan until my next paycheck."

"What do you do when your girlfriend starts smoking? Use a lubricant"

"Wondering why we have 50 candidates for Miss America, but only 2 for president. Also, why no swimsuit competition?"

"Why are manhole covers circular? Because Rouleaux triangles are too hard to manufacture. What do you call 8 hobbits? A hobbyte."

"What phrase do prostitutes and mafia members both say? You lookin to get whacked?"

"You spoiled brats with your fancy Cheerios flavors. When I was a kid Cheerios had one flavor, and that flavor was paper."

"What is 4,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start."

"why does looking at animals covered in oil make me sad, but looking at animals covered in oil and deep-fried make me hungry?"

"What do you call an arabian cop? Sher-if"

"What do you call a Mexican baptism? A bean dip."