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Joke of the Day
"A Buddhist goes up to a hot dog stand And says ""Make me one with everything."""
Next Joke
"A shopping mall. Drake walks past a man dressed as Santa, who yells out, ""Ho! Ho! Ho!"" ""Yeah,"" Drake sighs as he keeps walking. ""She was."""
"This mouthbreathing, fat creepy dude at work baked a cake and wrote, ""Eat cake if you want to be my girlfriend"" on it. I'm so torn right now"
"A study found that Buzzfeed is the least trusted news source in media. Serves them right for telling me I belong in Hufflepuff."
"Some people are like slinkies They don't do much, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs."
"What's E.T. short for? He's only got small legs."
"It's better to have loved and lost, than live with the idiot for the rest of your life!"
"My wife installed a mirror over our bed. She said she likes to watch herself laugh."
"Neighbor: I need to run to the store. Can you watch the baby? Me (thinks of Daredevil cued up on Netflix): I am a registered sex offender"
"I love my wife dearly, but she just used the word ""whatevs"" for the first time, so 17 years. It's been a good run."