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Joke of the Day

"Wearing crocs is like getting your dick sucked by a man. Feels great and then you look down and realize you're gay."

"What is a female genitals favorite slide to slide down at the playground? The fallopian tube!"

"Why did Hugh Jackman single handedly stop a Franciscan botanist from accidentally dropping a match in the forest? Because only Hugh can prevent florist friars."

"What does Miller Light and having sex in a canoe have in common? They're both fucking close to water."

"The iPhone 6 Plus sold very well. It was a huge 6s!"

"My girlfriend said she bought the lingerie for me, but then got upset when I put it on... I dont get women."

"A cat's love is like nothing you've ever experienced unless you've dated a completely aloof murderer with autism."

"Siri, fight Alexa."

"Burned my Hawaiian pizza... Should have put it on aloha temperature."

"Why don't hypochondriacs... Why don't hypochondriacs use lighters? They're afraid of catching fire!"