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Joke of the Day

"How do you piss off Liquor store shoplifters and Redditors? CAP LOCKS."

"Why do people in wheelchairs wear shoes? Do they think they're gonna magically start walking?"

"[Interview] ""Do you have any previous experience dealing with animals?"" [flashback to my flatmate leaving toast crumbs in the butter] ..Yes."

"""I heard low winter sun is pretty good."" - low winter sun from behind a bush trying to throw it's voice"

"Donald Trump, candidate for President, reaffirmed for America that we shouldn't worry about the size of his genitals. Now that's classy... With a capital KKK."

"Evidently, trying to schedule parent/teacher conference over drinks and ""we'll see what happens"" is considered inappropriate."

"It's rude to ask someone to courtesy flush, so I always offer them an ass mint instead. I'm a gentleman."

"So, I friended Paul Walker on XBox. Sadly though, he's always on the dashboard."

"Does it take more than one Mexican to screw in a light bulb? No, Juan knows"

"Rams>Cowboys Coincidence ?"