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Joke of the Day

"If poly means many and ticks are blood sucking parasites, then politics must mean..."

"I bought some Spot remover at the market yesterday. . . . . . and now I can't find my dog"

"Why do dogs run in circles ? Because its hard to run in squares !"

"Ambien: Remember the time we picked a fight with Gary's garden gnome, chugged a jar of mayonnaise & passed out naked in Arby's parking lot?"

"What did one little lesbian frog say to the other? ""We really do taste like chicken!"""

"My toddler begged to go swimming and then threw a tantrum because she didn't want to get wet in case you were on the fence about having kids"

"A banana walk in to a doctors office... A banana walks in to a doctors office and says to the doctor ""I'm not peeling very well!"" ;-; Sorry..."

"What did Hillary say when she bumped into Barack Obama at the White House? Pardon me."

"A wife said to her husband, ""You fuck like you fix things around the house."" ""Expertly?"" he asked. ""No,"" she responded. ""Half done so I have to call the neighbor over to finish the job."""

"I'm not exactly sure who Pavlov is... But the name does ring a bell."