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Joke of the Day

"If a super villain attacks my house whose only weakness is leftover soy sauce packets from the take-out place, he is so fucked."

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"A dyslexic walks into a bra"
"I went to a homeless themed fancy dress last night. It was shit.Fcuk all food or drink and we stood outside in the rain all night."
"What do you call a British voyeur? A bird-watcher."
"""Pistorius"" sounds like a spell Harry Potter would have use to make someone's legs disappear. This is Frankie Boyles joke, not mine"
"""Musically,I was inspired by the fax machine."" - Nicki Minaj"
"What do you call an invisible mom that got a sex change? Transparent"
"Snapchat is going public in March with a $30 billion IPO. Investors only hope the value of stock shares holds up longer than its snaps."
"What's the most common illness affecting neckbeards? M'laise."
"X post from meanjokes: michael schumacher regained consciousness today, have your heard how the doctors did it? They sat him on the window seat of the bus"