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Joke of the Day

"Why did the T-Rex's girlfriend leave him? Because he said he only loved her this much (hold out t-rex like arms) Sorry this one requires a bit of a visual, but I thought you guys might like it"

"He who farts in church..... Sits in his own pew. (Courtesy of my wife)"

"Did you know that an airplane's propeller is only a big fan and is there to keep the pilot cool? Don't believe me? Turn it off, and see how much the pilot sweats!"

"Q: What's the difference between Aeroflot and the Scud Missile ? A: Aeroflot has killed more people."

"If something rolls off of my plate... I eat it first, as punishment for trying to run away."

"He died doing what he loved; getting stabbed to death in a TJ Maxx."

"Q: Why do blondes always drink with straws? A: Practice."

"Why did Tiger Woods get divorced? Because Tiger was a lion cheetah!"

"Why did the fly fly? Because the spider spied her."

"My suit made entirely of Hello Kitty Bandaids did not help me much at my hospital interview. Apparently you have to go to medical school."