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Joke of the Day

"I never expected my dad to steal from his road construction job... but when I got home all of the signs were there."

"If someone posts a picture of their kid on Facebook making a stupid face, I like to comment with, ""Oh, NOW I see the resemblance!"""

"If your wife is shouting Q: If your wife is shouting at the front door and your dog is barking at the back door, who do you let in first? A: The dog -- at least he'll quiet down after you let him in."

"Why do teenage girls only hang out in odd numbered groups? Because they literally cannot EVEN right now, ugh!"

"Boob Size Grades A ---> Almost Boobs B ---> Barely there C ---> Can't Complain! D ---> Damn! DD ---> Double damn! E ---> Enormous! F ---> Fake G ---> Get a reduction!"

"What's the difference between Trump and Clinton? 62 Electoral Votes"

"*stares off into the distance* Distance: I have a boyfriend"

"North Korea claiming they test fired a big rock at Russia."

"[Dollar Store Interview] ""What are your qualifications?"" [Slides over a dollar] ""Cashier job is yours"" [Slides $2] ""Welcome to Management"""

"They Say 1 out of 3 People Cheat in a Relationship Not sure if it's my wife, or my girlfriend."