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Joke of the Day

"Watch your wedding video backwards. You'll love the part when you take your ring off, walk away from the altar, & leave with your friends."

"How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Three: A left ear, a right ear, and a final front ear."

"A heads up to girls on Facebook .. if your status says ""single"" and your profile picture is you with your cat - Well then no fucking shit"

"Is there such a thing as spontaneous feline combustion? Anyway, baking soda and vinegar are terrible for cats."

"Me: I can't get this star on top of the Christmas tree without a ladder, without dumping it over & ruining it. Whiskey: Yes you can."

"Did you guys hear the one about the circus fire? It was intense."

"Why are blondes so easy to get into bed? Who cares?"

"What do you call a bar in Star Wars? A space bar."

"What animal would you most like to be on a cold day? A little otter"

"What can you make and break at the same time? A racket."