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Joke of the Day

"What did the thesaurus eat for breakfast? A synonym roll."

"My grandfather always said, ""Don't watch your money, watch your health."" So one day while I was watching my health, my grandfather stole my money."

"What do we say to the god of procrastination? Not today."

"What do you call a cross between a bulldog and shitzu? Its called ""Whatever comes out of Donald Trump's mouth""."

"Why is the sport of cricket called cricket? A: **Because it's boring.** *Was told this by a 10 year old, and didn't quite get it at first, but I think it's rather genius.*"

"If you ever get attacked by a bear, throw your shark at it. Also, get a shark."

"What is the difference between an ornithologist and a stutterer? One is a bird watcher, and the other is a word botcher."

"Maybe middle America will believe in global warming if we make it a Snapple Fact."

"So PornHub recently revealed what people all over the world were searching most frequently; finally answering a question I've always asked... What is this world coming to!?"

"My friend took his grandmother to one of those health spas where tiny fish eat all the dead skin... It cost him $300, but it was a lot cheaper than a funeral..."