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Joke of the Day

"Just told my kid her freckles are kisses from angels and she said freckles are actually clusters of concentrated melanin. THANKS NICK JR. :("

"What is the most breathless thing on television ? The Pink Panter Show !"

"Why is C afraid of D? Because DEEZ NUTS!"

"How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello? ""Konnichihuahua"""

"By the time they were my age my parents had two kids and a house, whereas I have joy."

"My dad once told me this one If you walk into the bathroom an American and come out of the bathroom an American, what are you when you're in the bathroom? European :^)"

"Told my girlfriend to watch out! It might smell in the bathroom... She asked if I had used the air freshener. ""yeah, I did"" ""Oh so it smells like shitrus."" man she's funny."

"I don't have a racist bone in my body. But my cartilage does not care for Mexicans."

"Shouldn't you be on top of the tree, Angel?"

"I asked my Grandfather what it's like to have Alzheimer's. He stared blankly at me as he no longer remembers any of his family members or how to construct sentences."