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Joke of the Day

"WHITE PEOPLE COLONIZED AND ENSLAVED THE WORLD IN SEARCH OF SPICES AND DIDN'T USE A DAMN ONE"

"I'm still waiting for my date from last summer to come back from the restaurant's bathroom... I hope everything is ok."

"My friend Tommy drowned the other day... At his funeral, we placed a lifejacket on his coffin. It's what he would have wanted..."

"How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb? One, or two? Three, or four?"

"How are 4chan and Tumblr alike? They usually announce a trigger warning before mentioning a school shooting"

"I really like ethnic foods, but the one type of asian cuisine I haven't had is North Korean food. Then again, neither have citizens of North Korea."

"I just saved $30 on Taco Bell by telling a friend I don't have my wallet"

"[God making water] ""it helps plants"" ANGEL: nice ""cleans things"" A: ok ""u die if u don't drink it"" A: ""& drown if u drink it wrong"" A: what"

"Disney owns Miramax, so the gimp from ""Pulp Fiction"" is technically a Disney Princess."

"A guy asks his girlfriend make him feel awesome and sad at the same time Girlfriend: Out of all your friends you have the biggest penis"