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Joke of the Day

"I'm not saying she's easy, but if she advertised on TV, they'd call it a nymphomercial."

"What Johnny Mercer song does December 21st remind you of? Autumn Leaves."

"Yo mama's so mean... She's got no standard deviation!"

"How do you get a blowjob in Flint, MI Pour bottled water over your dick."

"Life is like a penis... Life is like a penis - simple, relaxed and hanging free... It's women who make it hard!"

"What's the key to long lasting Relationships? Not breaking up"

"Almost Instant Joy Find any Fast Song (Rap to Electro) Click Settings, Crank up the Speed 1.25: 1.5: Instant Twerk Music 2: The 2 is for 2Fast6You Only on Computers. RIP Phone Users"

"He told me he wants my heart ""Sharon I'm pretty sure he's a serial killer"" No way! *later on with guy* Wow you're really into bondage huh?"

"Two kids were walking home.... The one kid ask the other, ""Do you believe in the devil?"" The second kid reply's ""Of course not. It's all silly. The devil is like Santa, it's always your Dad."""

"Everyone needs a three hour nap after their breakfast pizza, right?"