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Joke of the Day

"I'll be Burger King and you be McDonald's. I'll have it my way, and you'll be lovin' it."

"My girlfriend is like a bagpipe When I squeeze her she makes annoying noises."

"Did you hear about the production delays at that company that makes scales using lengthy pipes? They had really long weights."

"Operator: 911, what's your emergency. Me: I'm 33 and I tried to do a cartwheel."

"I've found that jogging is much more fun when you never do it."

"Reddit's front page has more intellectual news stories than my local TV stations I don't understand it because I'm only 3 years old."

"You call it an unfinished window, I call it a draft."

"HR- do you know why we called you down here today? Me- your broomstick is broke and you need a ride? HR... Me- a house landed on your sister"

"I've heard like seven cancer jokes today... If I hear tumor it's gonna benign."

"if you meet a woman under the age of 75 named ""Maude"" or ""Agatha"" it's a good bet to check nearby for a time machine"