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Joke of the Day

"When life hands you gators, make Gatorade...just kidding-that means life hates you because the gators would totally kill and eat you 1st."

"Life is like a toilet paper... You're either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole."

"I just freaked out! I woke up from a nap to find that my phone and wife were missing. It's all good though. I found my phone."

"A man says to his son: ""Hey son, what has 4 legs and doesn't breathe""?"" ""You're not fooling me dad, a chair!!"" ""Not this time, your dog died."""

"How do you know when you've run out of invisible ink? When your writing becomes visible."

"What do you call a cold and angry cow? Brrrgrrr... What do you call an angry and cold baby? GrrrBrrr..."

"Did you hear the joke about the 100-inch pizza? It's hard to deliver."

"Apparently, I snore so loudly that it scares everyone... In the car I'm driving."

"What did Hillary Clinton say at the last debate? Nothing...because she was in the kitchen where she belongs."

"When a boy turns 12 he is given the choice between a big dick or a good memory... I can't remember what I picked"