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Joke of the Day

"Q: What kind of floor do dinosaurs' bathrooms have? A: Rep-tiles."

"What am I doing today? Well I forgot my headphones so probably murders."

"How are synagogues like lemons? They're full of acidic juice."

"A funeral stone: This is where rests in peace an attorney, a good and honorable man A guy passing buy is shocked: "" Wow! I never knew they can bury 3 people in the same grave."""

"What do vegan zombies eat? GRAAAAAIIINNNNSS!!! :D"

"Did you all see the shots fired at the Democratic debate just now!!???? Hillary really took aim at Bernie over gun control."

"Just complained to my girlfriend that my iPhone battery wasn't lasting more than 2 hours & it dawned on me that I'm white & totally spoiled."

"I hate seeing babies are kissing eachother. It's like, get a womb."

"NSFW My sister tried pranking me today She tried the ""I'm pregnant"" prank. I didn't fall for it of course, because I know I always use protection."

"No love I have for someone could ever be strong enough to make me think it was appropriate to stand side-by-side with them on an escalator"