123286

Joke of the Day

"McDonald's new Obama Value Meal is for freaks!!!"

"It's almost that time of night where I drunk text my ex ""I have to tell you something"" then shut my phone off."

"Men get more attractive with age. Women...well they just let you put it in more places."

"I'm an Obama supporter but there's no escaping the harsh truth that Batman v Superman happened on his watch."

"PERSON: Want a slice? ME: No thanks, trying to eliminate bread P: From your diet? M [having sworn to destroy all bread]: Sure...from my diet"

"What do you say when your lesbian daughter brings home her girlfriend? ""Are you going to be staying for dinner or eating out?"""

"If a feminist has 15 cupcakes And she eats 13 of them, why is she wearing leggins?"

"My doctor told me my testosterone level was unusually high. At least that's what I think he said, I could hardly hear him over the chainsaw."

"I root against my college football team. That place put me $80,000 in debt. It'd be like rooting for the bank that holds your mortgage."

"Her: How in the world did we max out the credit card?? Me: Beats me *pushes $20K worth of Care Bears under the bed"