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Joke of the Day

"Loomis: Does your dog have a license? Fenton: Hell no! I do all the drivin'."

"Startup idea: a gym named Resolution that runs for the 1st month of the year, collects subscription fee, then converts to a bar named Regret"

"Hear about the blonde terrorist who tried to blow up a bus Burned her lips on the exhaust pipe"

"We're an eclectic bunch here, but we all have one thing in common: We've sacrificed the chance to run for public office with these tweets."

"A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender yells at him to get out, saying, ""We don't serve your kind here!"" The mushroom replies, ""Why not? I'm a fun guy."""

"My keyboard squeaks and so does my mouse."

"""I rapidly kidnapped a happily napping kid"" is not only a fun tongue twister, but also a Felony! ...or so my lawyer tells me."

"What do you call an old man selling plums? An entrepruner."

"Has anybody ever thought of buying a pig a plane ticket?"

"What mom loves... Son: Mom, why is my cousin's name rose? Mom: Well son, your aunt really loves flowers! Son: Mom, what do you love? Mom: Richard, stop asking so many questions!"