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Joke of the Day

"CW: what did you do to your hair today? Me: It's really unclear whether you think it's good or you think I slept in a ditch."

"What do you call a pit full of donkeys? An asshole."

"When I first meet someone I always want to talk about that movie with Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio... but the Titanic is a terrible ice breaker."

"Being a newspaper boy combines two of my favorite things: legally throwing things at people's houses & keeping my fellow citizens informed"

"I'm turning to Reddit to help crowdsource an OC joke about defective condoms but it's all been a bust. You pricks keep poking holes in it."

"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did - in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car."

"What do you call a round knight? Sir Cumference"

"If iron man and silver surfer teamed up... They'd be alloys."

"A Jew, a Mexican and a colored guy... ...walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says ""Get the fuck outta here""."

"The boss enters the office and asks his underling.. ..""what's the name of the asian punctual co-worker?"" ""Tai Ming, Sir."""