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Joke of the Day

"How can I know hundreds of digits of pi But not know the digits of your phone number?"

"My wife gets her news from NPR. I get mine from Twitter. Guess which one of us knew about planking first? Suck it, legitimate media."

"Went in for a tonsillectomy. Surgeon did a frontal lobectomy instead. I complained... ... really gave 'em a piece of my mind!"

"Can we just start calling all the reality shows ""America's Got Problems?"""

"Charles Manson not only got a woman while in prison, but a woman that only wanted him for his body. Screw Tinder, I'm going to prison."

"So this guy steps into the house with a hand full of shit and says to his wife ""look what I almost stepped in!"""

"What is the name of the secret society of weavers? I-loom-'n'-I-tie"

"Racist jokes Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal."

"Crazy girls are like a street vendor's kebab Hot, jucy, and dangerous."

"If your name got called on The Price is Right, it'd be fun to scream, jump up and down, and then run full speed out of the studio"