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Joke of the Day

"Democrats get back at the Republicans on their Christmas list by giving them fruitcakes. Republicans re-wrap them and send them to in-laws."

"You would think that with the sun being 109 times the diameter of Earth... ...that it would be hard to lose it at night right? So I sat outside for the whole night, and then it dawned on me."

"A friend asked me, Is there a black Greek god?.. Nike"

"What do you mean will I eat a whole rotisserie chicken? What do I look like, a guy who doesn't eat whole rotisserie chickens?"

"Whoa there, pregnancy test. You just tell us yes or no and we'll decide if it's positive or negative."

"What's Obama's favorite word? uh..."

"my favorite part of nascar is when I vomit all over my shirt and car after the race., desecrating the logos of the brands that enslave me"

"Fish don't seem that stupid to me. If a burrito dropped out of the sky and hung in mid-air I would probably eat it."

"I once saw a theatrical performance about puns... It was a play on words."