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Joke of the Day

"The lesbian vampire Did you hear about the bar-hopping, lesbian vampire? Once a month, she goes to gay bars and drinks everyone under the table."

Next Joke
 
"Catch her by her waist... Bring her home.. Keep ur hand on her neck Put ur lips on her lips & have a ... ...nice drink...PEPSI"
"[twirling my bra above my head like a helicopter and it gets stuck on the ceiling fan, im launched thru window into neighbors yard] me: hey"
"What did the ice cream say to the unhappy cake? ""Hey what's eating you?"""
"Whats the difference between your Mom and the Pringles guy? I can't get my whole fist in the Pringles guy's can."
"I nearly got fired from my job as a roofer on the first day when I was caught masturbating. But my boss said I could wipe the slate clean."
"I left my phone at home and had no idea what to do with my hands while I drove"
"A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer."
"What did the hotel clerk tell the guest with paruresis during check in? Your in 8."
"My friend went to a party as the Spanish Inquisition... Nobody expected him"