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Joke of the Day

"Difference between Port Authority and a lobster with breast implants? One's a crusty bus station... The other's a busty crustacean!"

"""Knock knock."" ""Who is there?"" ""The pilot, open this damn door"""

"I worked a 10-hour day today... Sounds impressive to non-programmers who don't know binary."

"How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to do the changing and another to talk about how the last bulb was bigger."

"If God is a woman then how do you explain: 1) Spiders 2) Shoes you can't afford 3) Periods 4) Men"

"I ubered four black guys last night.. They were very nice. They let me out of the car and drove themselves to the destination"

"What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto . . hahah . . . fuck"

"What's an emo's favorite ice cream flavor? Noose Tracks"

"I can't believe this couple has been together for 22 years. DEEZ NUTS."

"Who decided to call them ""children"", and not 'snot machines'."