122612

Joke of the Day

"Me: and i love that thing u do with ur tongue piercing.. Wife: OMG [storms off] Me: WRITING OUR OWN VOWS WAS YOUR IDEA LYDIA [Priest faints]"

"My girlfriend was going to take my last name when we get married... but now we're changing it to Clinton so we can get away with anything we want"

"Why is Yahtzee better than the Bahamas? Because it's more than a paradise."

"Me: Help! i need my stomach pumped. 911 Operator: Did you ingest poison, ma'am? Me: No. Pizza."

"So... I want Ebola cereal... "

"A Hydrogen atom suddenly exclaimed: ""I think I just lost my electron!"" ""Are you sure?"" Asked its friend, ""Yes"" replied the first, ""I'm positive."""

"What's the similarity between a jew and a dog? They both hate the shower ^^^^SeeYouInHell"

"My wife asked me to stop singing Wonderwall... I said maybe"

"Shampoo is much more marketable than it's original name, Shamshit."

"Why are there no black people in the game Clue? Because then, it would be called Solved."