122549

Joke of the Day

"WHO SAID ""YOU GOTTA KEEP EM SEPARATED"" A) Gov. George Wallace B) The Offspring C) My mom teaching me to do laundry D) All of the above"

"I saw an oldman get hit by a car. He didn't hear me say ""look out!"" Because I didn't say anything."

"How many vegan people does it take to change a lightbulb? One vegan, I am vegan, it was me - the vegan, I was the only vegan, it was me."

"An avocado-wife is giving her husband the silent treatment Husband: ""I said you were the good kind of fat!"""

"The British are coming! Get ready! Oh wait they're coming by boat. We have like three months"

"What's the difference between me and a calendar? the 14th of february the calendar will have a date."

"What do you call a Jewish Pokemon trainer? Ash."

"What is Michael Jackson's favorite piano chord? A-minor"

"A Roman walks into a bar... And he holds up two fingers. ""Five beers, please,"" he asks."

"One of my ancestors invented the glove Well, he had a hand in it"