12244

Joke of the Day

"NASA claims that they've just discovered blood sucking bugs on the moon. They're a bunch of lunatics."

"How did the prostitute get a job at the zoo? They heard she could handle a cockatoo."

"A nuclear physicist is drinking at Oktoberfest... He approaches the bar to and calls over a barman. The barman asks what he would like, and the physicist raises one finger and says, ""Ein Stein""."

"Girlfriend: ""Does this dress make me look fat?"" Me: ""Stop blaming the dresses."

"How do you know you're getting old? When you exit a museum, you trigger the alarm."

"Yo mama.. is so old that Steven Spielberg used her as a dinosaur consultant in Jurassic Park"

"Quit my banking job this morning I lost interest"

"Some people say I have a dark sense of humor. Not as dark as the charred remains of a holocaust victim."

"*burglar breaks in* *i reach into my nightstand drawer, get my phone, & take his picture* Burglar: No I have a double chin! Me: I'll post it"

"If asked 'Whats up?' respond 'An animated film about the journey of a boy & an old man' then wink & fly away carried by hundreds of balloons"