122304

Joke of the Day

"How does a shepherd integrate black and white flocks? Ewe-substitution"

"I hate being bi-polar. It's AWESOME!"

"I always envisioned Hermione as a burly, middle-aged Italian fellow, so imagine my surprise when the films revealed her to be a little girl."

"I was walking through the park last night and one guy threw sodium chloride on me and another covered me in sulphuric acid. It was terrible. I didn't know how to react."

"I got second place in a star gazing competition once. The winner got a telescope, but all I got was a constellation prize."

"You know what I find odd? Numbers that aren't divisible by 2."

"A baby seal walks into a club."

"I've decided to delete my Twitter. I keep feeling that people are following me."

"A guy walks into a bar with jumper cables... The bartender says, you can have a drink, but ya better not start anything"

"I'm trying this Paleo lifestyle where I live in constant fear and die at the age of 28"