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Joke of the Day

"I just gave my new secretary a sexy dress for her first week's salary. Next week, I'm going to raise her salary."

"Irritating An irritating friend took a drink from my wife's beer and said, ""Ha,Ha, this is one step from kissing your wife!"" ""Yes it is,"" I replied, ""and two steps from sucking my dick."""

"I told my mom that bukkake is Japanese for bundt cake... I hope I'm there when she orders dessert at the steak house."

"3 types of people in this world of people in this world of people in this world of people in this world"

"On average, how many books can you put in an empty backpack? One. After that it's no longer empty"

"What would a video game about an abortion nurse be called? Womb raider"

"Me: What's w/the ice pack? 12: I have a headache. Me: Do you think it's a good idea to play video games if you have a headache? 12: Yes."

"An Irishman walks out of a bar... Do you get it?"

"I stretch daily to squeeze the demons out of my blood. It's the only way I know how to exorcise."

"What's the scariest 3 letter acronym for a soldier in Afghanistan with a 15 year old daughter at home? IUD"