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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an Asian lady sitting on a fence with no arms or legs? Pai-Ling"

"I went to an HIV counseling meeting... ... They are a very positive group."

"I'm trying to find a job cleaning mirrors It's something I could really see myself doing"

"Me: WHY DID YOU EVEN COME HERE IF YOU DIDN'T WANT TO BE WITH ME!! Him: Ma'am please just take your pizza."

"Bumped into my Ex again. I should really move her to a different part of the freezer."

"Rob Ford's family have been told they won't inherit any money from his bank accounts But his credit cards will re-sell for several thousand Canadian dollars."

"[Date] (don't let her know you're an alien larva) Her: I wonder where he is? *I burst through her chest* Me: Did you order yet? I'm starved"

"Today is ""Jamaican hair day"" at work. I'm dreading it."

"Where do super-villains get their coffee? DUN-DUN-DUUUNNNNkin Donuts."

"What did 0 say to 8? Nice belt."