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Joke of the Day

"Britain's fattest man has died aged 33. ""This tragic news will affect us all deeply,"" said Roger Whiteside, CEO of Greggs."

"I threw a party for all my non-orgasmic friends Nobody came."

"My phone just autocorrected mornin to Mormon and now it won't stop making macaroni pictures and having sex with multiple phone wives."

"What do you call it when a doctor has sex with a quarantined patient? Sick Fuck."

"Why was the African man wearing a wristwatch? He needed to hold up his pants."

"Tony Abbot Nuff' said"

"When does a bed grow longer? At night, because two feet are added to it."

"Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken..."

"I just discovered my new room mate is secretly a hard core racist and i wonder if should report him to the police. The dude takes part in illegal high speed car races at midnight"

"A policeman came into my house and told me to put my hands up.I told him that he wasn't a DJ and we laughed and laughed and now I'm in jail."