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Joke of the Day

"The power going out for 15 minutes is enough to crush any fantasy I have about surviving a zombie apocalypse."

"Open Relationship My girlfriend and I have been in an open relationship for about a month now. She is still yet to find out.. On the plus side, her mother and I have gotten much closer!"

"[date] Her: ""Well, the horoscopes pretty much govern my life, I'm a sagittarius, what are you?"" Me: *halfway out the door* ""Educated."""

"Do you like water? Yes? Well, then you already like 60% to 70% of me."

"How many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None, because they'll just beat the room for being black!"

"There was an infantry man that rode horses for over 50 years. What was his name? Major Bumsore"

"Everyone in this reddit likes the same food? Copy Pasta"

"I like my Facebook messages like my Fast & Furious movies: unseen."

"What was the name of the operation to catch Juaquin Guzman? El trapo."

"Whats about 9 inches and makes a woman scream? Cot death."