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Joke of the Day

"In this era of excessive exclamation point use, punctuating a text with a period is the quickest and simplest way to cause concern."

"Why does Santa have such a big sack? He only comes once a year."

"Every ""Seinfeld"" plot would have been solved by a cellphone."

"If there is a better way to memorialize your parakeet than by tattooing his name on your ass, I'd certainly like to hear it."

"Q: What do you get if you cross a lamp with a violin? A: You get light music."

"<Put your title here> May be NSFW Isn't it crazy how there is a band called one direction, because that's what I named my asshole as a teen."

"Why did the semen cross the road? Because I put on the wrong socks this morning."

"What do Mormons say when they go to the strip club? Do they come in bulk?"

"How can you tell which is the head nurse? The one with the dirty knees."

"Why don't Jewish cannibals eat Germans? Because they give them gas."