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Joke of the Day

"Netflix has a doc called ""Fascism in Colour""; wouldn't this be more of a ""black-and-white"" issue?"

"Calm down, Windows Update. I'll restart my computer during work time."

"What kind of bees produce milk? Boobies!"

"All I do is eat, drink, sleep and tweet. I'm basically just a more annoying version of a Tamagotchi."

"I had a boner during a funeral. I call it the ""Mourning Wood""."

"Isn't it weird how when a cop drives by you feel paranoid instead of protected."

"What is a caterpillar afraid of? a dogerpillar. Sorry. It was so bad that I had to share it. Fuck you Laffy Taffy."

"What's the last thing you want to hear when you're blowing Willie Nelson? ""I'm not Willie Nelson."""

"my cat is wearing a cone & has learned to scoop up his food and let it slide into his mouth and it's giving me serious ideas, folks"

"What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't coming."