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Joke of the Day

"Netflix has a doc called ""Fascism in Colour""; wouldn't this be more of a ""black-and-white"" issue?"

"Every time you reply to a text from your ex, Taylor Swift completes another album. Don't be an enabler. Drop the phone."

"My wife said I should compliment her features more often... ... So I slashed her face."

"I arrived at the annual premature ejaculation society. They said, ""Your early sir""? I replied, ""I know, I came on the bus"""

"[NSFW] My favorite sex position is the JFK... I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car."

"I bet the best way to disguise your surveillance van is not to use van at all. Like, whoa, who's in that hot air balloon? Probably not cops."

"A motorist ran into a shop. ""Do you own a black and white cat?"" he asked. ""No"" replied the manager. ""Oh dear"" said the motorist ""I must have run over a nun."""

"How does an abstract artist paint? They wipe their ass with canvas."

"I bet parents get annoyed when their kids ask ""are we there yet?"" when they're fully aware they now live in a car"

"[Interrupts the wedding vows] it's open bar right?"