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Joke of the Day

"ELI5: What is it like to mod r/news? This thread has been locked. You will unable to vote or comment."

"I got kicked out of the cancer ward at my hospital today. Apparently laughter isn't the best medicine."

"Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?"

"Stop the presses! My paninis can wait."

"Before the invention of the Internet, primitive humans had to Google stuff by waterboarding a librarian."

"6 year old: Daddy, what if the plane goes down? Me: Don't worry, your mom is with us. She never goes down. 6 year old: What? Me: Want candy?"

"You know how I just broke this huge cookie in half and put the other half away like I wasn't going to eat it? That was funny."

"why did the tomato cross the road? to become ketchup"

"[God creating mosquitoes] ""I wonder how I could get everyone to spray chemicals on themselves and also slap their own faces."""

"What do you call a duck on a rampage? Amok"