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Joke of the Day
"I'm not transphobic, I used to play with toy locomotives all the time!"
Next Joke
"My wife is a sex object I ask for sex, she objects"
"What's the most popular red wine?? We want our land back!!"
"Did you mean pacific or specific? Cuz seriously, one is an ocean."
"Heard on the radio and could not resist repeating... ""My ex-girlfriend never asked me use a condom."" ""Because she was on the pill."" ""Ambien."""
"If you jump through the hole in a hipster's earlobe you get transported to a SIMS game where the only people are Harry Potter characters"
"""And then she kissed the frog and saw him turn into a prince, because kissing frogs makes you hallucinate."" -me as a babysitter"
"You hear what they are calling Bruce Jenner's new TV show? ""Cait Plus 8-inches."""
"If I was the editor of Vogue, I'd just put an actual skeleton on the cover with the headline, ""Feel bad yet? You should, Fatty."""
"Attn Single people: If marriage was so great, there would be 6 people on Twitter right now....."