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Joke of the Day

"I want to start a club for unmarried professional women who want to meet other unmarried professional women and dance booty dances. We are gonna call it Nee Twerk."

"What's the main difference between light and hard? I can go to sleep with a light on"

"So, I bought a wok to cook healthy food and I have to say, these french fries don't taste any different."

"What's the difference between a crackhead and a John? A crackhead buys crack so he can put it into his pipe and burn it. A John pays so that he can put his pipe into a crack that might burn him."

"Do you know what an Australian kiss is? It's a French kiss, ......down under!"

"A woman woke her husband in the middle of the night. ""There's a burglar downstairs eating the cake that I made this morning."" ""Who shall I call"" her husband asked ""police or ambulance?"""

"Why is it Windows 10 and not 9? because 7 ate 9."

"What is the French verb that means ""To declare war""? *Surrendre*"

"Why did the policeman shoot the empty LED? It was a black one."

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil? I wouldn't pay $100 to have a lentil on my face."