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Joke of the Day

"Let us all take a moment of silence to remember the many socks lost in the past and the fucking dryers that stole them."

"Anything is 'bite size' if your mouth is big enough."

"I wanna get in touch with those teachers who told me that I have potential, and be like, ""Ha! I didn't amount to anything! In your face!"""

"What would a world without women feel like? A pain in the arse."

"This homeless guy just asked me if I was okay. I told him I was a little grumpy because I haven't eaten in three hours."

"I would put a webcam in my shower to make extra money, but I would hate having to only sing public domain songs."

"My friend has a PHD. Even though he only has a Public Highschool Diploma, he has been living a pretty happy life. Side note: My father loves to make this joke, so I had to share."

"A small agency has opened in the UK to sell potential extremists to ISIS. Not surprisingly, business is booming."

"At my age, a ""stiffy"" is just my back when I try to crawl out of bed in the morning."

"I got a job on a farm.... It was circumcising donkeys, it wasn't too bad, 44 skins a day, with a chance to get ahead, and you could always count on big tips...."