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Joke of the Day
"Someone offered to take me fly fishing, but I turned them down. I like to keep it reel."
Next Joke
"I'm gonna kill anyone who says swag... ...They'll call it the yolocaust"
"I'd like to thank my hands... I'd like to thank my hands for always being at my side, my legs for supporting me through thick and thin, and my fingers... Because I can always count on them."
"Back in my day, I used to have to walk 4 miles to the nearest store. Because I had too many DUIs."
"What kind of coffee does an executioner drink? Decap"
"What is the opposite of a misogynist? That little pussy, Brian. Always talking about his feeling and shit like a little bitch. Fucking grow a pair, dude."
"What do you get 18 years after fucking your sister? A vote for Trump."
"Okay body wash, unless you're caffeinated and drinkable, you can cool it with the ""energizing"" claims. You're soap."
"I've taken up meditation It's better than sitting around doing nothing."
"Why have the Chinese not got telephone directories? There's so many Wing's and Wong's they might wing the wong number."