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Joke of the Day

"Old people always poke me at weddings and say ""You're next"" So I started doing the same to them at funerals"

"Why was Jesus in such good shape when he died? He was Cross-Fit."

"Hello I'm Janardhan and I just had sex with a hedgehog. It was a little prickly at first but then I stopped masturbating and just went for it."

"How do you make an octopus laugh? Ten Tickles"

"Why am I against Donald Trump's wall idea? It will make fleeing to Mexico more difficult when he ruins our country."

"Two birds flying through the air... Flugen zwei Vogel durch die Luft. Sagt eine zum anderen, ""Vorsicht"" da kommt ein Hub-schrau-schrau-schrrau"

"Sorry, I'm holding out for the Zune Mini."

"What does a gay horse eat Haaaaayyyy!!"

"[SCIENCE FAIR] ME: It's a Pez dispenser, but for hot Pop-Tarts. PRINCIPAL: This fair is for kids. OTHER PARENT: Shut up, let him finish."

"If the Avada Kedavra curse was invented by a Muslim wizard or by a Jewish wizard It would be called the ""Islama Kedavra"" curse or the ""Avada Judahvra"" respectively."