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Joke of the Day

"I'm not saying it would kill me to work out, I'm just saying my wife bought me a gym membership and doubled my life insurance..."

"I just signed a deal with my liquor store that when I die I'll be stuffed in the Capt. Morgan pose and displayed inside their store."

"A man goes to the doctors for a physical. The doctor says ""you have to stop masturbating"" The man replies ""why?"" The doctor responds ""because I'm trying to give you a physical"""

"I got a really good knock knock joke. OK, you start."

"When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people......"

"During an argument with my wife, she dropped the old ""why did you even marry me?"" line. Apparently ""Your sister was already taken"" was not the right answer."

"What's black and comes in little white cans? My favorite Michael Jackson joke."

"Penis jokes are not funny especially the short ones."

"What's the best song for a threesome You've got a friend in me."

"a termite walks into a bar And asks the waitress, is the bar tender here?"