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Joke of the Day

"A man came up with a new invention, a vibrating tampon. That way a woman can be at her best when she is at her worst."

"I wanna work for a company where if you pass the drug test you get fired."

"Don't judge. Maybe I'm conducting a study of the effects of prolonged laziness on a human body. You don't know."

"""Give it to me"" she screamed ""Give it to me I'm so fucking wet!"" But try as she might, she wasn't getting my umbrella."

"Religion: because reading one book is a lot easier than a whole bunch of hard ones."

"I just drank another bottle of brake fluid. My friends think I'm addicted, but I can stop when I want to."

"I wish a girl would give me a chance so that I can finally disappoint someone besides my parents."

"What does bigamy mean? One wife too many. What does monogamy mean? Same fucking thing."

"What do you call a fish with no eyes A fsh"

"What is a thing that Alan Rickman and David Bowie both have in common? It is that they have both recently become deceased."