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Joke of the Day

"Our Unabashed Dictionary defines wet dream... As the winner of a damp-t-shirt contest."

"When women go to the restroom together that's so you can make out, right?"

"I did a theatrical performance about puns.. Really it was just a play on words."

"There was a failed art theft today... the robber reportedly was foiled because he didn't have enough Monet for Degas to make the Van Gogh."

"The only way I'm coming to your wedding is if YOU get ME a gift. You just found lifelong love, I think I deserve a blender more than you do."

"Always put your best foot forward. Unless you're wearing Crocs, then neither foot is your best."

"Jesus walks into a bar with his disciples... ""Thirteen glasses of water, please!"", Jesus said to the barman, winking at the others..."

"My friend payed me to write a construction jobs for him. It's still a work in progress, just trying to get it hammered out. You know what, I think I just nailed it."

"Whenever I see a big guy beating up a little guy I ALWAYS jump in to help cause there is NO WAY the little guy can take us both."

"My masturbation addiction is getting bad I'm right in the grips of it."