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Joke of the Day

"Why did the pervert cross the road? He couldn't get his dick out of the chicken."

"I'm like Helen of Troy. Not in the sense of being breathtakingly beautiful, but in the sense of pissing people off and starting wars"

"I told my wife she was applying her eyebrows too high She looked surprised."

"What do you get when you mix a gay Eskimo and a Black man? A snow blower that doesn't work"

"My name is Seamus and I build that bridge you just drove over. It's the longest spanning bridge in Ireland. Do they call me Seamus the Famous Bridge Builder? No, they don't, but fuck one sheep..."

"Pirate walks into a bar... Bartender says, ""Is that a napkin on your head?"" Pirate replies "" No, it be a bounty""."

"We can't afford to take our kids to a corn maze this year so we're going to take them to an IKEA instead."

"Saw @justinbieber on a piece of toast. Am I going to hell?"

"What did the homeless man say to Barack Obama? ""Can I have some 'change'?"""

"I went to the zoo... I went to the zoo yesterday and I was disappointed to see the only animal they had was a single dog. It's a shih tzu."