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Joke of the Day

"Arabs have invented a time machine It's called Islam. It takes any civilization back to the 7th century."

"What has 9 arms and sucks? Def Leppard!"

"""I really wish I could squeeze that piano over and over"" - guy who invented the accordion"

"What do you call people who use sandpaper to remove any evidence that Ernie and Bert are gay lovers? Bernie Sanders."

"What is a monster's favourite drink? Demonade."

"The liquor store cashier asked me my birth date so I said ""12-25-0000"", and stared into his eyes majestically."

"What does a cat say when its trapped in a box? Let MEEEOOOOOOOOWWWWWWt"

"Sometimes i feel like the flat bread option at subway because I'm always available but no one ever wants me to hang out with"

"I was tasked with ordering coffee supplies for the office... I sent an email to all the staff asking if they wanted flavored creamers or regular creamers. Their answers were half-and-half."

"What do you call a pirate's helicopter? An Eye-patchy helicopter! >>(Apache) . Ill show myself out."