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Joke of the Day

"Arabs have invented a time machine It's called Islam. It takes any civilization back to the 7th century."

"What did the letter O say to the letter Q? ""Hey, your dick is hanging out"""

"Willpower? Sure. It's in the garage with my unicorn."

"If the dove is the bird of peace... ...what is the bird of true love? The swallow."

"If Mt Vesuvius erupted over us right now, there'd be lots of shapes of people looking at their phones later on."

"My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex for my birthday. It's nice, but I think they misunderstood me when I said, ""I wanna watch."""

"You are what you eat? *eats Natalie Portman*"

"Where is the best place to screw a Mt. Goat? The edge of a cliff, you are guaranteed she will push back!"

"Always put your best foot forward. Unless you're wearing Crocs, then neither foot is your best."

"""Who am I?"" she beckoned the stars. Stars: We've gone over this a million times. You are a geisha caveman."