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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear a macaroni penguin is running against Trump? He's leading in the poles."

"The best part of Pitbull is he yells out ""MR WORLDWIDE!,"" at the beginning of each of his songs, giving you ample time to change the station"

"I really hope someone brings their cat to Mars only to get it get run over So we can finally say Curiosity killed the cat."

"If there's Jenny and Lucy, could there be Jenni and Luci? Then wouldn't that make them Jennifer and Lucifer?"

"A salmon that jumps on the hook for ya http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdAoQvqh7eY"

"The *REAL* Way to Avoid Clickbait Seriously guys, this is Reddit. What were you expecting?"

"*walks up to fountain* *throws in a shiny penny* *crosses fingers* *makes wish* *looks over at mother-in-law* *does throat slash motion*"

"The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once."

"What do anal sex and spinach have in common If they were forced upon you as a child you wont like them as an adult"

"Dating a stripper is like eating a noisy bag of chips in church..... They all look at you with disgust, but deep down, you know they want some, too."