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Joke of the Day

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"Whenever I speak to religious people about my beliefs, I receive a lot of judgement. It seems that Jesus is the only one who truly accepts me for who I am!"

"Instead of laughing my ass off, I'm going to start laughing my stomach off. I'd rather lose that."

"JOB INTERVIEWER: So what are your biggest weaknesses? HE-MAN: Well, I- *job interviewer's fake mustache falls off and it's Skeletor*"

"what did they call the Mexican after losing a finger minus juan"

"Two skeptics walk into a bar.. I'd tell you what happens next but noone knows"

"My wife doesn't know... That every time we have sex, I put a dollar into an envelope that goes toward her Christmas present. So far, she's getting a candy bar."

"I know you've been here. I can smell you, still taste you on my lips. I crave more, but it's over now. Also, you're a donut. And I ate you."

"A Russian man makes a remarkable discovery ""What poor people there are in America,"" a man tells his comrade, ""Their cars don't have hoods, their phones don't have buttons, and their wine is old!"""

"How many prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, but she charges me extra for weird stuff"