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Joke of the Day
"I asked my Dad if we could get any pets... He said pets are just a step backwards."
Next Joke
"Wanna hear a bird joke?! I don't have one... This is hawkward."
"I wrote an essay about American Patriotism Then I pointed at it and started shouting ' You Essay! You Essay!'"
"What is 6 inches long 2 inches wide and makes a woman crazy? $100 bill."
"What's the difference between driving a car on an empty tank of gas and having diarrhea? One you're running on fumes, the other you're fuming with the runs."
"What do you get when you cross Tumblr with anything? A bunch of offended Tumblrinas"
"What has 1 hand, 3 legs, 6 feet, and 2 heads? The finish line at the Boston Marathon."
"Jared Fogle likes his subs like his women. 6 & 12"
"People who write clickbait headlines for a living: Fuck you."
"A man walks into a Doctor's office screaming, ""I'm a wigwam, I'm a TeePee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a TeePee!"" The Doctor Says, ""You're too Tense"""